Entered for the first time!

So, Martina and I are watching the news in bed, and we see:
"Hmm, let's see. Go to the dentist, or go to the Clone Lab. Go the dentist, or go to the Clone Lab..." That piano needs some new keys, mama...

I'm hungry, and Martina gets me some Funny Bones and orange juice, and says "What day ees today, my leetle funnee bone?", and I say "Why, today is December 30 my little tequila worm, and if you turned on the Today Show, and Matt Lauer was workin' it under the sheets with Tracy Ullman, while Monkees Davy Jones and Michael Nesmith cheered them on, and then they all stopped and checked out Tiger Woods' balls, you could stop and wish each one of them a happy birthday. Or you could just watch."

Grab a doughnut, a handful of pills, sit on the crapper and think, "Who first said 'Elvis has left the building?'

Martina reminds me that I should use "the swears words". I'm new here. I haven't used any dirty words yet.

I'm trying to write while Martina is trying to type her name with her toes; she wants me to bring her brother into this country and find him a job. Then her father, her cousin, and maybe her husband. I have a nice list of jobs for them.

Martina