Thursday thoughts

A Chicago judge has given R. Kelly the okay to go to attend the Grammys in Los Angeles, but ordered him to stay the hell away from Michael Jackson.

Clear!! Police in New London, CT say a spark from the defibrillator instead set a woman on fire in an ambulance on Monday night.

This is gross: A dead sperm whale being transported through Tainan City suddenly exploded yesterday, splattering cars and shops with blood and guts.

Oops!

Indians minor leaguer Kazuhito Tadano is asking for forgiveness for what he called a one-time mistake — his appearance in a gay porn video in which he engaged in a homosexual act.

Okay ladies, read up: Don't Spit, Swallow: A woman's guide to swallowing.

Always wanted to fly? Introducing the Affordaplane, perhaps the simplest, most inexpensive aluminum ultralight you can build today. The cost? About $3000.00.

James Brown was arrested Wednesday after he allegedly pushed his wife to the floor during an argument. Nice photo, James.

A federal judge on Wednesday ordered Exxon Mobil Corp. to pay about $6.75 billion in punitive damages and interest to thousands of Alaskans affected by the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill.

This is fun: The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator.

And finally, WTF?