Rich's Tuesday Tacklebox

I got this in a email from a buddy of mine and thought it was funny , and if your not from CT and dont get it ...Im sorry .

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbies for the Connecticut market:

Darien Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a 3500 SF house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Harwinton Barbie - This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.

Bridgeport Barbie - This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

West Hartford Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Bristol Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Glastonbury Barbie - This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.

Shelton Barbie - This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bristol Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.

Woodbury Barbie - This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Woodbury Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

New Haven Barbie - This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and four baby Barbies in the backseat (no car seats). The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for New Haven Barbie or Ken.

Waterbury Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings and 1 ankle bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone and a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest and gel/hairdryer kit. A camera/cellphone with the Mayor's office on speed-dial is sold seperately.

Time to make nice .....

Britney ordered me to strip then used me for sex!..well not me but this guy , lucky bastard.

here are a couple hot Britney photos that are safe for work ....HERE and HERE

Kurt Cobain was killed. An investigative site that promises on April 3rd, 2004, a groundbreaking story.

When ants attack!

This guy writes : "In 1998, I briefly worked as a process server in the County of Sacramento while attending college. I wrote this story for the Sacramento City Express while attending classes."

A Romanian DJ has seized a radio station and threatened to jump from a balcony if his employer cut the broadcast and told listeners he wanted his overdue salary

Here are All your favorite browsers from long ago.

What a douche ...A woman imprisoned for faking her daughter's leukemia to gain thousands of dollars in donations has told how she first concocted the scheme to keep her husband from leaving.

My son Peter has always loved to play hide and seek. In fact, he loves it so much that he will wake me up in the middle of the night to play. The only problem is that Peter has been dead for eight years

An artist who used dust collected from the streets of New York after the September 11 terror attacks has won a major new art prize.

The Stanford Prison Experiment: A Simulation Study of the Psychology of Imprisonment

A Man lived with 70 goats in house , betcha he never had a lonely night in that house ?

Ok , see ya tommorow and if your around Jonathan Law high tommorow i'll be umpiring the girls softball game ...stop by and say hello .